Lost Angeles

Perhaps they misnamed this city I live in. City of fallen angels or city of lost souls would be more appropriate.

I moved here in 1998 after living my whole life in Santa Cruz (where i was born and lived until i was 22) and then in San Francisco on to Albany (just next to Berkeley). I loved San Francisco its crisp and beautiful and inspiring. People are friendly and for the most part genuine in nature. I lived some of my best years there.

I never liked Los Angeles even for visits. Short periods of time were all i ever wanted here. But having two jobs and working towards nothing just was not appealing to me and although i had fantastic friendships and a beautiful city i was just not satisfied with what i was doing. So i had a decision to make New York or Los Angeles.  Considering i had been offered the same position i had in the company i was working for at the time in Hollywood it made my choice easy.

I did not know why i was here once i got here. The first two weeks i lived here i felt sick and stuffy. It actually never goes away it just becomes more tolerable. The air hangs thick with the waste of hundreds of thousands of other people. My job transfer was less warm and the people i worked with were vicious. I had spend five years with this company and was so happy at my job but it was different the coworkers were different the clients were beasts.

I was so depressed. I wondered if I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and then i found the garment district and the Getty Museum. I had two sanctuaries. I was inspired again and started sewing again. Something I have done since I was a small girl. My mom is an artist and art professor and has always encouraged me to be expressive in any way I felt comfortable.

This is when I started making garments a little bit here and there really funny shapes that didn’t fit very well and had really bad finishes. It was just for me and my friends though so it didn’t really matter. I just wanted to be doing something creative and it was something to keep me busy.

I guess this is the part where I say the rest is history because my little side project that was my comfort has evolved into my all consuming career. It’s so uncertain as life is what will happen next of what it will evolve into next.

All I can say that the reason I had to come to Los Angeles and why I was drawn here I’ve realized. And for this I am grateful for all its faults there are real jewels among all the false stones.

Now I am able to use the knowledge and tools I have acquired here and move forward into the next uncertain future. And back to a place where “so what do you do ?,what can you do for me? ,or who do you know? are not Some of the first questions you are asked when meeting someone for the first time.

I am ready to move away from here.